


Are You With Me?

by anonisnicenough



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, i'm sorry in advance, lena needs more than a hug in this one y'all. so do i after writing this, this too was written on my phone, welp, wow this is a tough one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:33:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28078500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonisnicenough/pseuds/anonisnicenough
Summary: Kara and Lena go on an undercover job as each other's date to catch a potential terrorist. Things go very haywire.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 13
Kudos: 66





	Are You With Me?

Kara smoothly dropped onto the open balcony and strode into the apartment where Alex, Kelly, and J'onn were waiting. 

"Sorry I'm late guys. I got held up at the bank," she apologized. 

"Bureaucracy and criminal operations tend to make for a disastrous recipe and end result. Are you okay?," Alex wrapped her sister in a hug as she greeted her. 

"I'm fine but the same can't be said for the robbers' leader. Hospital's gonna be with him for a little while." The hero cringed slightly as a quick memory of her encounter with the criminal flashed through her mind. 

"A hospitalized criminal is gonna be the least of your worries after you get a load of what we've just learned." Kelly smiled as she joined the sisters with J'onn in tow. The three exchange hugs. 

“We've been on his tale for nearly three months now but finally we got him,” J’onn started. “He'd booked a hotel near Ashford a week before the small scale weapon that killed nearly a hundred residents was detonated. Eye witnesses claim to have recognized him meeting with another man we identified as Augustus Crowley, one of the suspects that was arrested in connection with the bombing. Crowley died a three days later in detention under dubious circumstances but his case was dismissed and charges dropped. Brainy intercepted some of Lester's bank statements and traced then to several offshore accounts.” Kara frowned as she took in the information. 

“So he's been funding these terrorists then. Why isn't he in jail?” 

“We can't send him there without concrete evidence. If we go to the authorities with this he'll just shut down with his lawyers and he'll know. It'll only drive him away and we don't wanna do that,” said Alex, hands locked firmly on her hips in her ever present authoritative stance. 

“So what's the plan?” 

“Kelly and I are going to go undercover at the charity event that he's hosting tomorrow night and pose as representatives for an underground group wanting weapons. We're hoping he'll be greedy enough to accept the offer and we'll tape him agreeing to the business arrangement. That's where you come in.” 

“Wait wait wait. You and _Kelly?_ Alex are you crazy, your wife is _three months pregnant._ She shouldn't be going undercover in dangerous missions to take down terrorist funders. No. That'll stress her and the baby.”

“Hey, it's hardly my fault. I tried talking her out of it but she nearly bit my head of about it.”

Kelly smiled knowingly at her wife's defense.

“Megan and I would've gone but she's off world at the moment.” Kara suddenly had a bright idea. 

“Lena and I can go. I'm sure she can help us.” Everyone stared at each other dumbfounded, leaving Kara very unaware of the coded looks passing between them. Kelly spoke up first. 

“I don't think we should bother her with this. Alex and I will be fine.”

“No no no. You're going to be a mother soon, that means I'm on double protective duties for my sister in law and niece or nephew so no buts okay?” The hero masked her face with seriousness but still held a gentle smile. 

“Are you sure about this Kara?,” asked Alex, sounding surprisingly concerned considering the simplicity of Kara's offer. 

“Of course I am, don't be silly. I'm certain Lena's going to be able to get an invite to Lester's party…”

“Charity event,” J’onn corrected. 

“Charity event and when she does, she'll talk to Lester and broker a deal with him. Think about it, Lester is less likely to suspect Lena and more likely to listen to her because, well…” She let the rest of what she was going to say hang in the air around them, afraid the words might magically float over the city and find their way into Lena's ears, breaking her heart all over again and setting them right back to square one where they were after her identity reveal. 

“Well then. I suppose Kara has a point. Lena will help us catch Lester and the two of you can take Kelly and Alex’s place.”

“Great,” Kara beamed a bit too eagerly and she wanted to kick herself for how excited her voice made her seem. Well,not really seem because she actually was excited at the idea of going on a date with Lena again after so long, but no one else needed to know that. She withdrew her phone and dialed. 

Lena had answered the call, in all her restlessness and overactive eagerness. She’d spent all of her working hours at L-Corp keeping her attention divided between tedious meetings with hyper-masculine men and a thoughts of a certain blonde haired, blue eyed alien goddess and when her phone lit up with that goddess’s name, the CEO had nearly crushed her phone with the iron grip she held it to her ear with.

_“Hey Lena. I’m sorry for disturbing you like this.”_

_“Oh no it’s fine Kara. I’m actually glad you called. I’ve been trying to force an excuse out of thin air to get me out of these meetings. My boardroom suddenly feels too cramped.”_

_“Need some rescuing?”_

_“More than I do my next breath of fresh air.”_

Lena had chuckled, Kara had laughed and suddenly the brunette held a hand to her stomach as if holding on to the air that had been so suddenly knocked from her lungs.

_“Listen, it’s not the only reason I called and I’d hate for you to think it is, but we found something and we need your help._ ” 

A small frown had settled on Lena’s face but she remained silent and allowed Kara to continue. There was a mission: two of them had to go undercover,lure out Lester, corner him and hopefully get him to confess to his crimes on tape and put him behind bars for good. Simple. 

_"I've been in Lester's presence a few times in the past. He'll recognize me immediately.”_

_"We're actually counting on it."_

Then Kara had explained why they wanted her to do the job and while Lena understood their reasoning, she still couldn't help feel the overbearing shadow of doubt and paranoia in all its suffocating presence. The Luthor name would forever haunt her days as long as she lived, regardless of whether she broke free from it's evil chains. Despite herself, Lena couldn't help feel a little happy at Kara seemingly oblivious to the ramifications of what she was asking Lena to do because in her eyes, it seemed almost like Kara no longer cared that she was a Luthor. Maybe she never even did.

Almost like she only saw past that name and looked deeper, at the fragile open heart that sang only one song in earnest yearning for a soul far out of reach. Almost like she was the only person who only ever saw Lena, not Lena the Luthor. Almost. 

Lena had accepted the terms of the mission, had taken instructions for what was expected of her and slightly panicked at the absurdity of what she'd just accepted to do. Her panic had bled well past her working hours at L-Corp, which is why she now found herself struggling to breathe properly, partially because of the tight pull of the evening gown she'd spent the last twenty minutes fitting her curvy figure into and also (mostly really) because she was about to go on a date with Kara Danvers, granted it was for work/criminal investigation purposes but a date nonetheless. Lena barely repressed the urge to squeal as she thought of the prospect of spending an entire evening with Kara, _as her date._ Not as just friends or acquaintances, but partners. Sure they'd gone on several dates before but this time was different for Lena because this time she was more aware, of herself, of Kara and of many other things that only she would know. 

_You're not actually dating. This is just a job. Kara probably only asked to be your plus one because you're friends and that's it. Get your head out of the clouds._

Lena cursed at her treacherous mind. Of course she would be the kind of person to ruin her own little happy moments with unnecessary excessive thinking. 

Lena smoothed her hands down the fabric of her dress, turning to her right to once again look herself over. That's when she noticed a familiar face in the mirror. 

"Kara," she sounded nearly breathless, turning sharply to face the blonde standing in her doorway. It was only for a split second but Lena could've sworn on her very life she heard a whimper escape the other woman. 

"Lena, wow," Kara beamed, "you look so…"

"Overdressed? Doused in glitter? Absolutely out of place at a charity event?"

"Beautiful, Lena. I was going to say you look so beautiful." Kara adjusted her glasses but kept her eyes on Lena. 

"Thank you Kara," she chuckled lightly, extremely surprised she didn't give away the furious onslaught of butterflies currently overwhelming her.

"Not many opportunities present themselves where I can be part of a secret mission to take down a capitalist nuclear weapons dealer with my best friend." _As my date,_ she almost added but bit down the urge to. 

"Well today's your lucky day Ms Luthor. Shall we?" Kara held her hand out, and Lena wondered still if this truly is what dreams are made of. She took the hand that awaited hers and arm in arm, the two best friends departed. 

If Lena thought Kara picking her up from her penthouse while looking more edible than usual in her stark black jumpsuit would be a "swept off my feet'' kind of experience, she certainly had something else coming. From the minute, no, second, the two of them had arrived at the dinner, Kara never once let her out of her sight. If they weren't linked arm to arm they were standing inches apart side by side. Kara kept conversations with mostly only Lena but happily indulged The few guests Lena recognized and mingled with. _"This is Kara Danvers, CatCo WorldWide Media's star reporter,"_ Lena would say when she introduced Kara and she'd watch with a proud look on her face as she easily broke into conversation.

The whole experience left Lena at a loss for words, thoughts and feelings so much so that she almost forgot why she was there in the first place. Well maybe not feelings because she was certain she felt more anxious with every passing second because she was so unsure of what to do with all of Kara's little mannerisms. At some point, she even held her hand over Lena's, and God did she almost pass out. It was embarrassing, honestly, how quickly Kara melted her into a puddle of goo by just, existing.

But thankfully she kept her internal war for self control well hidden, and it didn't translate onto her physical expressions. To anyone sparing her a single glance or making small observations of her, she appeared well put together, politely mingling with guests as she introduced her plus one and kept conversations going with a polite but stern expression on her glowing face. _Glowing because of your best friend but no one but me knows that._

Hours passed and Lena's nerves we're well overridden by annoyance and impatience. It was a good thing because it gave her something else to focus on instead of the way Kara's bare shoulder kept brushing hers or the carefree way she laughed at Lena's unfunny jokes. Lester was yet to acknowledge her presence. She grew more frustrated as the night progressed. _If he could just step into the crowd and greet his guests._

Lena managed to slip free from Kara for a moment and went to the restroom. She washed her face free of the makeup she'd spent about ten minutes applying earlier that night. As tired as she was, she had a subtle glow about her. Her eyes retained a more focused color, her cheeks were dusted pink and perhaps it was because of her technically-a-date-but-not-really-a-date with Kara but Lena liked this look on herself. She just wished she could also feel like this more often, nervous and happy and flustered and carefree and... _loved._

Lena allowed the word to float through her mind like a gentle breeze blowing about in a quiet forest, rustling the trees’ leaves and giving it a subtle life. She wanted to feel loved in a way she's always wanted to be loved. Her mother's love to her was conditional, Lex's love for her died with his sanity and Kara's love for her...was an uncertainty that had kept Lena on her toes for the longest time, especially now that she knew Kara was Supergirl.

She'd long since reconciled with Kara and she now understood why she'd kept it a secret for so long but the consequential fear that had been constantly present in the early stages of their friendship had mutated into an ugly paranoia.

_Kara never really loved you._

_She only pitied you and saw you as nothing more than a broken thing left behind by her family._

_She only stayed because she tried to fix you._

_That's what she does, fix people by inspiring hope in them but even the Girl of Steel couldn't fix a broken Luthor._

The ugly thoughts rattled her brain and Lena bit down hard on her tongue to repress the sudden urge to cry as she looked at her face in the mirror. She tried really hard to brush away the terrible voice in her head but her heart had all too easily digested those words and now they were like a brand in her mind, taunting Lena's every waking moment. 

She released a shaky breath and quickly reapplied her makeup, surprised at the end result's perfect precision despite the limited time she allowed herself compared to earlier at her house. Gathering her wits once more, Lena stepped out of the restroom.

"Well I'll be damned. If it isn't the one and only Lena Luthor." Lena cringed at the sound of the gruff voice from behind her. Suppressing the urge to vomit, she turned around.

"Mr Wright," Lena said with a tight lipped smile. 

"Oh please, no need for formalities. Call me Lester. We're friends now aren't we?," Lester stepped close, grabbing a champagne glass from one of the servers' trays and taking a sip.

"Last I heard from you was over a year ago. I see you've done well for yourself since then." She gestured around them at the busied guests wandering about. 

"Indeed I have. I'm just a good man trying to do right by his people." Lester smiled and Lena almost rolled her eyes so far up her sockets she would've seen her brain. Somehow sensing someone was watching her, Lena's eyes monetarily darted over to the small crowd behind Lester. She immediately spotted a pair of blue eyes not too far from where she stood, sparkling as bright as the chandelier crystals hanging from above, eyes filled with so much concern it momentarily stunned Lena. 

_Are you okay?_

_Do you need back up?_

Lena subtly nodded at the blonde and settled her sight on the man before her once more, quickly finding her words. 

"Word around town is you're delving into more... underground trading. I'm interested and have an offer." The toothy smile quickly died on Lester's face, replaced by a mask meant to intimidate her but Lena simply cocked an eyebrow and stood waiting for a response.

"Care to elaborate because I seem to be a little lost," he asked, surprisingly cool considering the deep rows in his brow. Lena didn't flinch once and that seemed to upset him more.

"Don't be so coy Lester. I know you've been dealing in illegal nuclear weapons with underground terrorists. You find their weapons and they sell them on the black market for a ridiculously high profit. Sometimes you even pay for the manufacture of these weapons." Lester's dark skin now practically glowed with pure rage and he moved dangerously close to Lena's face. 

"Now before you think of burning my face off with that venomous breath of yours,listen to what I have to offer you. You take funds out of your company as well as your personal accounts to find the parts used to build these weapons so I ask: why bother paying for these parts in the first place when you can have someone build them for you... completely free of charge?" Lena watched and waited as her words settled into the man's ears. She watched the gears turn in his mind as he slowly processed her proposal. _Got him._

"I see you need time to think so I'll give you just that. Three days. L-Corp. I'll be expecting you." She drew him by the tie and whispered in his ear,"Don't disappoint me Lester. Luthors don't do well when disappointed." With that she walked away, her business card safely tucked into Lester's jacket pocket. 

"Are you okay?," Kara asked Lena but was only met with silence as Lena grabbed onto her arm and tugged her. 

"Dance with me?,"sounding like more of an order than a request. The blonde didn't object, only followed the other wan onto the open dancefloor. Lena couldn't have contained the sigh that escaped her when Kara locked her arms over her waist, not even if she tried with her life. 

"Lena, did something happen with Lester?" Kara whispered close to her ear and Lena's heart did a triple flip down into the depths of her champagne-filled stomach. Her voice was laced with so much worry it bordered a firm but gentle possessive air about it. It filled Lena's mind with so much bliss but she didn't dare let herself think again, because to think was to feel, and to feel was...well, her thrumming heart could answer that. So instead she locked her arms behind Kara's neck and reassured her she was fine, the plan had gone off smoothly and all she wanted to do now was dance with her best friend to Low Roar's _Nobody Loves Me Like You_ because what else was it if not Lena's truth. 

Kara couldn't sleep. She'd paced around her apartment enough times to wear her brand new carpet out so she decided pacing in isolation wouldn't help and went over to Alex and Kelly's. Now she was pacing around their home, which was much more spacious. 

"Walk over my wife's carpet again Kara Danvers, I dare you." Alex held her hands at her hips as she frowned at her aggitaed sister. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I just...I can't stop thinking right now." 

"Well maybe a seat would quiet some of those thoughts down? Have you tried that? Sitting down? On the sofa instead of doing this like you've been doing for the past ten minutes?" Alex gestured to the very visible track worn into the material sprawled on the floor. Kara wrinkled her nose and plopped onto the couch next to Kelly.

"I know, but Alex, I just can't help but think Lester might've threatened her somehow. She just seemed... off, somehow." Kara sighed. 

"He's a cheap scumbag who profits off the endangerment of human and alien lives alike. It wouldn't be a surprise if he did threaten Lena. But I'm sure she's fine Kara." 

"This is Lena we're talking about. And from what little I've heard, she's very good at hiding things that aren't fine with her," said Kelly, hand held protectively over her growing belly. 

“Or, _or,_ get this guys. Lena could be…just fine…’’ Alex gasped dramatically, earning a pillow right to the face from her wife.

“ Alex is right though. She could be just fine and I'm just worrying over nothing.” But Kara still couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong. The way Lena held onto her on the dance floor two nights ago had felt like she was clinging onto the only thing she could find comfort in, and Kara had been more than happy, eager even, to provide that comfort, but it left her all the more anxious and worried because even though Lena wouldn't admit it, she was still crouched behind her still erected walls and Kara only ever saw the little of what she could when Lena allowed herself to peek over those walls. But she always reverted back behind those walls at the first sign of danger, and whether Kara would ever know the extent of what Lena's little heart perceived as dangerous, Kara would never know. But Rao, did she want to know. Kara wanted to know Lena the way Lena knew herself, every detail and inner working. She wanted to learn about her all over again now that she no longer had the secret of Supergirl to hide. Would Lena ever even let her? 

Kara swiped a hand down her face. Tomorrow night her best friend was going to be alone with a potential terrorist to try and get him to incriminate himself on tape all while hoping he doesn't suspect a single thing and Kara was definitely not fine with any of that.

“I'm gonna grab some beer,” Alex said and excused herself. 

“You know, when I first met Lena, I thought she was a good woman,” Kelly started, shifting on the couch to face her sister in-law. 

“And what do you think of her now,” Kara asked, sounding more defensive than she realized or intended. Kelly chuckled. 

“I still think she's a good woman Kara. I think she's always been good, but she has a fragile heart. She's smart and brave and logical but I think she feels _very_ strongly. Her heart has been locked away for so long she's taught it to hide the feelings that govern her actions in order to defend itself from an onslaught of aching and suffering. If you really feel like she's in trouble with herself right now, don't force her out, let her come to you on her own. Just be there and be ready when she does okay?” Kara was stunned and left at a loss for words at Kelly's own words. The look in Kelly's eyes spoke many things, but in them she mostly saw understanding. 

_I know Kara. I know,_ those eyes said. Whispered so softly for only Kara's own eyes to see and understand too. 

She tried to think of something to say but instead just pulled Kelly closer for a tight hug. 

“Bonding with the less attractive sister instead of your super gorgeous badass wife? Treason of the highest order.” Alex feigned a hurt expression as she reentered the living room with two beers and a juice. 

“And what will be my punishment oh honorable lady Danvers?,” Kelly quipped, accepting her apple juice and moving over to settle into Alex's lap. 

“Cuddles and cheesy rom-coms marathon I think. Yeah.” 

“I assume my time here has expired then?,” Kara half-joked but stood from the couch either way to offer the couple some privacy. Kelly shook her head ‘no’ and though Kara really wanted to leave to ponder on her thoughts about Lena further, alone, she didn't object and instead settled herself on the floor with a bed of pillows and throws. She'd get to Lena tomorrow. 

“I'm heading out for the night Ms Luthor. Do you need anything else?”

“No Jess I'm fine, thank you. You just get home safely now. Have a good night. ” 

“Goodnight Ms Luthor.” Jess closed the door behind her and left her boss pretty much all alone, save for the guards that were stationed all over the building. Her chauffeur was scheduled to arrive at 10:30 exactly, thirty minutes after Lester would have left her office after their scheduled meeting. It was now 8:27

_“Are you sure you don't need it? It will help us and you just in case.”_

_“I'll be fine Kara. It's actually safer this way. Lester isn't dumb. Earpieces are too obvious. He might have something with him to check me for any bugs. Don't worry, I can do this. Trust me.”_

Kara had trusted her, and now here she was, sitting at her office desk in wait for Lester Wright, a criminal who deserved to rot in jail for all the lives he endangered and was responsible for taking. Lena felt a momentary rush of exhilarating eagerness course through her veins. Perhaps it was the Luthor deceptiveness in her but she couldn't find it in herself to care right now. Right now all she could think about was that Kara was somewhere down below the many floors of her office, dressed in her blue and red attire with Alex and J’onn as back up waiting for her to trap their prey and signal them. _I'm being brave like you Kara._ She wished she could project the thought to the woman that had permanent residence in her heart. 

She missed the knock on the door and only noticed that Lester had arrived when his and one of the gurad’s footsteps sounded. She turned around in her chair and stood up straight. Smoothing her hands down her pants to dry the slight sweat there. 

“Thank you Lukas that'll be all. We'll both be out of office in two.” The guard nodded and left the office, leaving Lena and Lester alone. 

“You should at least write your security men a script to read off of when they escort guests up. That guy? Yeah, no fun.”

“Have a seat Lester.” Lena didn't want to entertain the scum dressed in a blue silk suit any further than necessary. 

“All business with you too huh? Well I suppose it's a family thing then.” Lena's ears peaked at the mention of her family. 

“You've met my mother then?,” managing to sound as nonchalant as her voice would let her. 

“Brother, actually. But we're not here to discuss your family of course. Let's talk business.” And discuss they did. Extensively. Lena asked questions, Lester answered. Lester asked questions, Lena answered. She didn't even notice the hour and a half go by before Lester was standing from his chair and extending a hand for Lena to shake, the chair he had no idea had been bugged and had just recorded their entire discussion. 

“Well Lena, this was all very pleasant. I absolutely _cannot_ wait to work with you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Lena said, and the words felt like a swash of rat piss in her mouth. 

_“_ Well I'll see myself out then.” Lester turned and walked to the door, Lena a few feet away from him. The sudden turn Lester made however, had frozen Lena in her place so quickly and the only thing she was allowed to process was him pulling out a gun from his jacket and firing six bullets into her body. Bruised, broken, bleeding, Lena fell to the floor but not before pressing the SuperWatch strapped to her wrist. Her hair blew to the side when a sudden gust of wind rushed around the space, and Lena wanted to lift her head to see what was happening but the pain was quickly overrunning every part of her. She only heard Lester shout for a brief moment followed by the disturbing _crack_ of what was unmistakably bones and then his shouts bled into screams, frantic and wild and pained, much like how Lena felt. A pair of gentle arms slowly scooped her up from the cold floor 

She lulled her head to the side as her lungs slowed their pace in oxygen supply. 

“Lena? Just breathe okay? Breathe. Focus on my voice and just breathe for me.” 

Lena's ears were ringing, making it hard to hear Kara's voice clearly. She was loosing so much blood, it seeped out of the several holes pierced by the bullets, soaked her clothes, stained the floor and the pair of string hands that held her so close to the warm body she'd always dreamt of having next to hers in the lonely hours of the night. _Warm. Kara's so warm._ Her breathes were coming in shorter and she was loosing vision. But she didn't want to die. Not without two things. Looking at Kara's beautiful face one last time and telling her how deeply she loved the unbreakable Girl of Steel. How much she had always loved her and cared for her, even when they were having their quarrels as Lena and Supergirl and as Lena and Kara. She had loved her through it all, and even now, as she lay dying and two steps away from an eternal abyss of nothingness, she loved Kara with her every bit and piece of her open and wounded heart, bullet in it and all. 

Lena used her dying strength to look up at Kara and she could have sworn she heard the tear of the delicate organ in her chest slowing its beating. Kara's face was a storm, angry and violent but also fragile and just...broken. Her tears flowed so easily and so readily, but her eyes, they were loosing light, fading away like the life that was now escaping Lena's own body. She let free a single tear of her own, it's cold trail down the side of her face reminding her of her vulnerability in this very moment. 

“Ka-Kara,” Lena's lungs permitted her to breathe. But that was it. She only got one out of two wishes. No confessions, no declarations of her love. Lena only died with the look of Kara's beautiful and tortured face branded into her memory.

“Save your energy Lena. I'm here. I'm here. Stay with me okay? You promised. You said always…please. Don't leave me.” Kara watched the light drain from those beautiful greens she always dreamt of seeing in the morning before she left for work. Those beautiful greens that would have lit up in wonder when Kara talked about Krypton. Those beautiful greens that would have glared at Kara when she left pizza crumbs on the couch in the home shared by the Luthor and the Super.

No,they would've been different. They could've been different. Kara and Lena, together. 

Kara screamed so loudly, the window she'd broken through burst completely, letting in the city's cold breeze. She held Lena's still and bloody body to hers, meshing their chests together, one heart beating and breaking, one heart gone cold and still. The love Kara had for Lena burst from her chest, trying to follow a path to Lena's heart and find its home there. It tried to rekindle the life that once thrummed in that strong, brave and beautiful heart but there no longer existed a path for this love to follow. That heart was empty, cold, still. Forever. 

The Unbreakable Girl of Steel had finally been broken. 

**Author's Note:**

> i am user @silverssuper on twitter if you wanna chat or chill.


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